Still Seeking

I have just started a new book. Well, actually it's a real old book written about 397 A.D. The book is called The Confessions and is written by Augustine. It is his autobiography outlined in thirteen different books. Augustine became the bishop of Hippo in North Africa. Yet, his journey before getting to this point was filled with hedonism and self-gratification. The Confessions is a prayer confessing his sinfulness and God's grace.

In his first book, he hits on the same theme that the Lord's been impressing upon my heart - seeking and finding. He begins with praising God for His greatness and power. He reminds us that God has created us and draws us to Himself in praise for our joy. He draws from Psalm 22 and Matthew 7 when he says, "But Scripture tells us that those who seek the Lord will praise Him, for as they seek they find Him, and on finding Him they will praise Him."

It is a true that seeking and praising go together. If we are promised to find God as we seek Him earnestly and with all our heart and soul, our response can only be that of praise. If after seeking God, He graciously reveals more of His greatness to me, my response would be praise and reverence. If after seeking God, He graciously reveals more of His mercy to me, my response would be humility and thanksgiving. If after seeking God, He graciously reveals more of His holiness to me, my response would be confession and bowing. Worship becomes my response to God's response to my search.

The ultimate goal in seeking is finding more of God. Augustine shares another rich statement, "What does this mean? Yes, let him rejoice in that, and choose to find by not finding rather than by finding fail to find You." Have you ever sought after God with a concern and not received an answer only to discover you have found more of God in the silence? Take some time with this thought.

In 1994 I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, an incurable inflamatory disease of the large intestine. Countless times I've cried out to God asking for healing. Countless times I've asked Him what He wants to teach me through this disease. I have yet to be healed or receive an answer to my prayer. Nonetheless, I believe I have learned more of God than I would have without the disease, not because of the disease itself, but because of the seeking. Yes, even in not finding or hearing, we are drawn into a deeper, richer, and fuller worship.

Father, let my seeking be turned to praise for Your glory and my joy.